Obituary - Mary (Eleanor Florence) Shilton

by David and Malcolm Powys

Mary (Eleanor Florence) Shilton  18.12.1925 – 13.10.2009

Mary Shilton was a remarkable, but ordinary person, which made her an inspiration to all who knew her.

Born Mary Eleanor Florence Bolitho, her mother was the daughter of English small business people and her father the son of Victorian school teachers.  Her parents met in England during the First World War, her mother later leaving home and family to make her new life in Brighton Victoria, in 1923.  Mary was born on 18^th December 1925.

Mary lived with purpose, something which arose from her Christian faith, but also her genes.  Her paternal grandmother, widowed young, and not entitled to return to teaching, supported herself and her son by campaigning for women to be given the vote in the colonies of Victoria and Tasmania.  Her maternal grandparents encouraged her mother to be presented at Buckingham Palace when she travelled back to England for a visit with toddler Mary.  Hers was a diverse but strong heritage.

Mary was a gifted student, attending Firbank before winning a scholarship to Rosbercon for her final years.  Raised during the depression she embarked upon secretarial studies after leaving school.  Working as a secretary at the Royal Melbourne Hospital Almoner’s Department, she was drawn to studying Social Work at Melbourne University.  At the same time she had a growing conviction of being called to employ her skills in an overseas missionary context.  After working on the Anglican Inner-City Ministry Team in Melbourne’s depressed CBD fringe in the late 1940s, Mary trained to go as a missionary with The Church Missionary Society in Tanganyika.  She with two others sailed from Australia in 1951.  In Africa she worked first as diocesan bookkeeper for Bishop Alfred Stanway, a visionary Australian who did much to build the enduring health of the Anglican Church in Tanzania.  

Mary found Sydney-born missionary colleague Dr Norman Powys to be much more likeable than on their first encounter in Melbourne, so much so that they wed in Dodoma in 1953, with Mary’s mother present to represent the family.  The couple then lived in remote settings, pioneering medical work and building a bush hospital in Murgwanza before sailing home via the United Kingdom for leave.  In the meantime had been the births of sons David and Malcolm – David prematurely and well short of the intended hospital on account of road conditions - and then the challenges of caring for infants in a remote setting.

Whilst on leave, spending time with family in Sydney, Norman died suddenly of a coronary occlusion.  They had been married less than four years.  Daughter Ruth, as yet unborn, arrived six months later.  By this time, with great support from family and friends, Mary had returned to Brighton Victoria to make her home with her recently widowed mother, Florence.  Still, Mary gave her daughter a telling middle name - ‘Joy’. 

Mary, graciously supported by Florence, raised her three children in Victoria, assisted by generous bursaries from Brighton Grammar School and Firbank and a caring wider community of family and friends.  Her three children are each now professional people, imbued with their mother’s sense of living purposefully.  But Mary achieved much besides successful parenthood as a single mother. 

For a decade Mary was the sole social worker for the Anglican Homes for the Elderly in Melbourne, a role which meant that she was known, respected and appreciated by many hundreds.  From there she went to be Senior Social Worker with The Mission of St James and St John, during a crucial time of transition from institutional to community care.  Thirty years later she is still warmly remembered for her professional contribution in that state.

In 1982, after 57 years based in Melbourne, to the surprise and delight of family and friends, Mary became engaged to Lance Shilton, then Dean of Sydney.  After marrying Lance at the family church, St Andrew’s Brighton, where she had played key roles for many years, Mary moved to Sydney to make a whole new life.  She became fully involved in their joint ministry from St Andrew’s Cathedral and was instrumental in hundreds of press releases which supported Dean Shilton’s role as a leading Australian Christian spokesperson.  Mary continued many other voluntary involvements, including with The Church Missionary Society, the latter being recognized in her appointment as an honorary Vice President of CMS Australia.

Mary and Lance subsequently enjoyed very happy years of retirement in Denistone East NSW, which brought opportunity for travel, spending more time with their ten grandchildren and short-term ministries in numerous Sydney parishes.  These were blessed times, even though Lance was living with cancer.  She supported him devotedly until his death in 1998, nursing him at home to the end.  However, in the aftermath it was clear that Mary herself was losing confidence, and was facing another big challenge.

Mary’s final years were ones of failing memory, something very difficult for a person of her intelligence.  To some she may have seemed aloof, but she chose this rather than losing her dignity.  She retained her grace and cheer until her quiet and peaceful passing on 13^th October at the Caroline Chisholm Nursing Home in Lane Cove.  She delighted family and friends by rallying in strength and wit in the weeks immediately prior. 

Thanksgiving services were held at both St James’ Turramurra in Sydney and St John’s Cranbourne in Melbourne.  In each case the preacher was convicted to use a particular passage.  In Sydney Bishop Peter Tasker referred to Paul’s call to run life’s race with perseverance looking to Jesus.  In Melbourne Bishop John Wilson spoke of Paul’s call to show forth the fruit of God’s Spirit. 

Family and friends remembered her as ‘a gifted, cheerful and selfless believer’.

Mary is survived by her brother George Bolitho, and children Ruth Russell and David and Malcolm Powys.